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        Baby Fever

        Pandi, Pandora, Pandu, Athul, Ravi, Gabriel, Jérémie, Davante, Lucifer, Jr, Tommy, and now Gaia. What do they all have in common?

        That they are all my babies. Well, not human babies of course. It seems I may actually have a small problem with collecting these adorable and huggable teddies. I just cannot stop getting new ones. But they are all worth it and now with Davante missing, it seems I am more inclined to get less, but at the same time more. It is a very odd feeling.

        To believe it all started with Pandi (which deserves a post on its own), a big plush of love and adorableness. He is massively special to me for two main reasons, the first which I rarely talk about and will still continue to live in “denial" until one day I am ready, and the second being he was given to me by a special love of mine (whose name is used for one of the other babies).

        After getting Pandi, this former fixation came back to me. As a child I always enjoyed teddy bears, not necessarily collecting them, but hoarding them seems to be the more accurate term. I enjoyed hiding things in them, making a discrete slit on their back and sewing it back meticulously. And when I was not practising suturing on them, I was busy hugging and cuddling up with them. There was just always something comforting about them, and now more than ever it seems that comforting effect has magnified. Perhaps due to THAT tragedy or perhaps because teddy bears are generally comforting.

        Not to mention that recently a lot of my acquaintances are having children, so that could play a factor on my desire to fill myself with teddies. Not to say teddies are my replacement for children but they give me some interchangeable substitute feeling.

        The most intriguing part of this recent fixation is that German brands are what have driven me to buy more and more. Steiff and Martin specifically have enticed me to explore outside my uniform plush and singular body teddies. I am uncertain if it is the craftsmanship (being that they are handmade) or that they (at least Steiff) is credited to being an inventor of teddy bears. Sometimes a single fact like this causes you to want it more or enjoy it more. Something about humans and “originality" or “authentic", adds more feeling or value to a feeling or desire. Either way, I also find it ironic how a lot of German-related products or services have arose such a disdain in me. Germany may not be well known for its customer service but it sure is known for its ingenuity.

        I just hope this new, almost hobby, of mine does not make me into the future crazy teddy lady (in lieu of crazy cat lady). I suppose only time will tell.

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